Dan Bakitus said I’m shallow.

Cover of "Two Lefts Don't Make a Right.. ...

Cover via Amazon

For the ever tongue-in-cheek band Relient K, an album named Two Lefts Don’t Make a Right…But Three Do is hardly unusual.

And with a witty lyricist like Matt Thiessen, a song titled “Hoopes I Did it Again” is rather normal, if not to be expected.

The preface of the song in the album liner reads: “It’s a typical cloudy day in Canton, Ohio, and the Relient K boys are trying to score something to do. Matt T. gives Dave [Hoopes]’s cell a phone call.”

The ensuing song proceeds to describe stereotypical small-town drama.

And then there’s this guy Dan Bakitus…

“Dan Bakitus said I’m shallow. He said I’ve got no integrity. But, I don’t know Dan Bakitus…and Dan Bakitus, he don’t know me.””

Who is Dan Bakitus? And why does he think Matt Thiessen is shallow?

I wanted to find out, so I did what anybody else should do in my position: I googled Dan Bakitus.

..a good hair day. in My Photos by Though I didn’t find any other statements about Dan Bakitus from Matt Thiessen, I did find a few statements from Dan Bakitus on his alleged Myspace. His “About Me” section states: “Matt Thiessen ruined my life. I can’t go an hour without someone making fun of me for what Matthew wrote in his song. He IS shallow, and I hate him…”

He even goes so far to say that he’d like to meet “Anyone who hates Matt Thiessen.”

Geez, Dan.

Additionally, Dan Bakitus sympathizers may “Like” him on Facebook or even follow him on Twitter.

Those who don’t appreciate Dan Bakitus’ feelings about Matt Thiessen can join the Facebook group “The dan bakitus dont know me FAN CLUB”, and then there’s always the t-shirt option for those still baffled at the identity of Dan Bakitus.

I guess this is what happens when a random dude named Dan Bakitus calls Matt Thiessen shallow.

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