Adrenaline

I caught his face.
Inhale sharply, look away
Nerves on end
Adrenaline. Relentless.

Green light, not for me.
Green light, he goes and is off, forever maybe.
It’s what I told him—
to go and be off, forever maybe.

But a change of heart, a change of mind, or lack of it.
Lack of it all.
I go, I go and fly off, off after him.
I should have said no, no to the flying;
no to the off after him.

But I fly. I fly and fly,
Speed is mine, the wind rushes by.
A curb of cement.
An aim for sidewalk, an aim, shoot, and miss
I truly fly. The snap of a second.

And the second snapped, I feel the hard stone
A baked gray ground.
It is in my hands, against my breast,
jarred left hip, burning left knee.
Crash.

Crash.
I crash, am crashing, crashed.
Down and down and down.

I rise, adrenaline to ravish my body
Screaming at me, No pain, no pain
But pain, it came, it comes nonetheless
Nonetheless adrenaline always fades.

And he is out of sight, gone, has gone off, forever maybe.
Because it’s what I told him—
to go and be off, forever maybe.
Road rash scarring my knee.

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