Art assignment fail

You are about to read a classic college-kid fail, which took place as of last week:

Pulling an all-nighter to finish an art project for the next day, and realizing the following 3 things, in this particular order:

1. I will forever have an aversion to pliers after torturing my hands with them for 10 straight hours.

2. The project still isn’t finished, and class starts in 20 minutes.

3. The project isn’t due until next week, and I should have double-checked the syllabus.

So I drove home and went to bed.

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Home Sweet Home Pancakes

This recipe blog post is kind of awkward for me.

1. I’ve been sorta-kinda working on it for like four weeks.

2. The first recipe I didn’t make myself.

3. I kinda failed on the recipe I did make.

Just letting you know ahead of time.

With that all cleared up, I want to talk to you about pancakes.

First, nothing says “Home sweet home” like pancakes made from scratch for breakfast. They were actually yelling that at me before I ate them. It was kind of weird.

Okay, I’m sorry, my pancakes don’t talk. That was a sick joke. I promise not to do that again.

Anyways, my daddy happens to make the best pancakes. And not with bisquick…we actually try not to say the b-word in my house. Just because the pancakes on the box look fantastic does not mean they taste anywhere near as delicious as from scratch. Trust me, it’s totally worth the effort.

So these pancakes my dad makes–they’re not only made-from-scratch yumminess, they’re actually rather nutritious for you…of course, that’s pre-butter and maple syrup drenching.

Here’s how he does it:

Set aside 1 mashed ripe banana

Mix in a bowl:
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
1 TBSP sugar (for sweeter pancakes, add another TBSP)
1 TSP baking powder
1 TSP salt
½ tsp baking soda

In another bowl:
Whip 2 eggs
Then add:
1 1/3 Cups (approx.) low-fat buttermilk or low-fat plain yogurt, until the desired consistency is reached
(For richer pancakes, add 1/4 cup of melted butter)

Stir wet ingredients into the dry, until just combined.

Once the skillet (greased beforehand) is heated up, reduce heat to medium, then spoon batter onto skillet. The pancake is OK to flip when the batter starts getting a bunch of holes in it, but cook time will vary depending on how dark you want your ‘cakes.

Don’t you want some of these sweeties?

Now, I saw this recipe by Joy the Baker called The Single Lady Pancake, so I performed my own rendition of it the next day with some of the leftover batter from the aforementioned recipe. This is how it went down:

I got a 1-cup measuring cup, which I filled with 2 Tbsp of oatmeal…

A heaping Tbsp of dark chocolate chunks…

And about half of a large sliced banana.

Then I poured pancake batter into the cup to fill up the remaining room, and mixed it all together.

Now I ran into a little problem…I was so excited about this pancake, that I poured it on the skillet immediately…

…but  I forgot about spraying the skillet.

Yeah.

Kind of a fail.

But, hey, just because it doesn’t look pretty doesn’t mean it can’t taste good.

So after I scraped that sucker off the skillet, drizzle a little honey on it, piled on the rest of the sliced banana and some granola, I stuffed it. In my mouth, that is.

Best pancake ever? Totally.

Banana Bread fail

Girls, if you haven’t already heard, the best way to get to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That is a piece of advice you should not take lightly.

I especially love this piece of advice because I love to bake, and due to my apprenticeship of the wonderful bakers in my family, I feel quite confident of my own baking skills. Therefore, I’ve been in the business of employing this proverb for a few years now.

Over winter break, for very necessary reasons, I made one of my guy friends a loaf of banana bread. Actually, I made two loaves, one for him, and one for my family.

I was very proud of this banana bread. The loaf for my family was disappearing quickly, and I myself was pleased with its flavor and texture–let’s just say I felt rather confident when I handed the treat over to my friend.

Between that time and this past weekend, he never spoke to me of the banana bread. So I was thinking, Like, geez, thanks for saying nothing about the bread I made you!

Actually, I was more worried that he didn’t like it. That he HATED it…that he would never eat anything I ever made AGAIN.

Okay, so those were my dramatic thoughts; I knew for sure that he liked my peanut brittle, so not all could be lost.

Anyhow, this past weekend, I finally decided to ask him if he liked the banana bread–carefully adding that if it wasn’t to his taste, he could tell me so that I might “do better next time.”

He began telling me that he had never eaten banana bread with a topping on it…

Confused, I told him the banana bread I had made only had walnuts on top, not the sugary crumbles he spoke of.

Then it hit me. I had given him THE WRONG BREAD. Somehow I hadn’t noticed that the loaf I had grabbed out of the freezer was a coffee cake my mom had made, a stark contrast to what my banana-bread-craving friend had been expecting when he took his first bite.

That advice I gave earlier? Yeah, I pretty much did the exact opposite.

Epic fail.

My friend was rather relieved to find out that what he had eaten was definitely not banana bread:

“Good…cuz I was gonna say…that banana bread sucked.”

Longboarding fail #4

Does getting a rotting-food-colored bruise on my knee and road rash on my foot in the EXACT SAME PLACES as I did when I first rode my longboard last summer make for an exponentially increasing fail?

If that sentence doesn’t make any sense, feel free to comment “Fail.”

Gravity fail

I fell off my bed today. My bed is the top bunk in my dorm room.

I suppose I was sitting too close to the edge of my bed whilst I was taping posters on the wall.

My roommate’s printer, desk, and chair helped break my fall. Thankfully, nothing on me was broken…

In fact, the adrenaline rush from my body’s reaction to its near-death-and-much-pain-experience kept me laughing hysterically on the ground for a bit.

Fail.

 

Looks pretty good, though, no?